


Beneath Your Beautiful

by blackbirdflyfly



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Genderbending, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:02:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/818658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirdflyfly/pseuds/blackbirdflyfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaire Anderson is a master of hiding her feelings from everyone around her, even Kate. She's gone most of her life holding back everything she felt so as not to show any sign of weakness. But just like everything that stands strong, her facade begins to break, and the only person there to catch her is Kate, the girl who has been trying their whole relationship to try and get behind those walls she had built so strongly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a genderswap!klaine story, so Kate is Kurt and Blaire is Blaine incase you couldn't figure out. 
> 
> Also, the lyrics used in this fic are from the song "Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labrinth.

_You've carried on so long; you couldn't stop if you tried it. You've built your wall so high; that no one could climb it. But I'm gonna try._

* * *

 It was around the time of a certain call that Kate began to see Blaire begin to break.

The call was important, something that Blaire had been looking forward to for weeks. Her hands were constantly clutched around her cell phone, her eyes constantly staring at the darkened screen just waiting it to light up with that one number.

It was huge for both of them really, but so much more for Blaire. This was her big break, the moment to be in the spotlight and show everyone how amazing she could be. That’s really the reason Kate was excited.

She had been practicing all year to try out for the upcoming Broadway season for Wicked. She had every Elphaba song down, every line, everything. She was ready, she was perfect, and Kate knew she had it in the bag, how couldn’t she? Blaire even rocked her audition, few people in the room ‘o’ faced and clapping loudly after a moment as she stood bright faced, chest heaving in front of them.

The phone rings, and Kate bolts up from where she was laying on the couch, leaning over the back to see her girlfriend jump away from the counter. Her half-baked cookies were left on the counter as she looks up at Kate with wide, glossy eyes, her hands shaking. “It’s them.”

Kate grins, her smile big as she waves her hand towards her. “Answer it! Answer it!”

Blaire nods, seeming to square her shoulders and calm herself down before answering the voice with a cool, “Hello?” She listens for a moment, her eyes meeting Kate’s. “This is her.”

There’s silence as Blaire listens and Kate waits, anticipation building up in her bones as she watches Blaire for any sign of news.

Then she catches it, the sign that she never really wanted to see. The slight widening of the already big hazel eyes, the gentle frown in the corner of her full lips. She watches those pink lips twitch, her chin wobbles as she nods and clears her throat. “Of course.”

Kate is already getting off the couch, moving around to have easier access when Blaire thanks the other person on the phone and lowers the phone slowly. Her eyes have glassed over and she’s looking straight ahead, and Kate knows that her fears have come true and she’s hurrying forward.

Blaire let’s out a quiet sound as Kate’s arms wrap around her and pull her close, a gentle sniffle. “I—I didn’t get the part. They thought I was good, just not good enough.”

“Baby…,” Kate murmurs, pressing a kiss to her temple as she just stands limp in Kate’s arms.

“It’s fine,” Blaire mumbles, “I don’t know what I expected, really.”

“Hey, no.” Kate’s voice is quietly scolding as she pulls back and gives her a hard look. “You did amazing, you deserved that part and every part after that. Those people are just…ridiculous. They obviously don’t know a perfect Elphaba when they see one.”

Blaire shrugs, Kate’s arms falling from around her as she pulls away. “Thanks, Kate. I just…thanks. I—I’m going to take a bath.” Blaire makes to move away and Kate reaches out to grab at Blaire’s wrist.

She watches Blaire’s eyes; sees the walls go up, the walls that Kate knows far too well. The ones that block out everyone and everything, that holds her up for a little while longer so she can get on with her life. They build inside, trapping the tears and disappoint so that she doesn’t have to let them out because for her, those mean weakness. And weakness is something that Blaire Anderson does not have, or at least that’s what she tries to get her family and half the world to believe. But even if Kate knows the truth, she also knows that just like everyone else she can’t get past those walls either. No matter how hard she tries, they’re built too thick and too tall for her to get around them until Blaire calms down.

Kate softens, ghosting her thumb across the inside of Blaire’s wrist. “Do you want me to join you?” She asks softly, knowing that she’ll probably get turned down anyway.

Blaire blinks, biting her lip before she shakes her head. “No, I just want to be alone right now.” A worried look crosses Kate’s face and Blaire steps up to kiss her cheek. “I’m okay, I promise.”

With a nod from Kate, Blaire finally walks away to the bathroom, Kate still watching after her.

And it’s only a few minutes later over the volume of the TV that Kate hears the unmistakable sounds of crying.

 

 

 


	2. Part 2

_You tell all the boys "No", makes you feel good, yeah. I know you're out of my league but that won't scare me away, oh, no._

* * *

“Blaire…I don’t know about this,” Kate says as she stands in the bedroom doorway, watching her girlfriend flit around to get ready.

She stops for a moment, glances up and rolls her eyes. “They really have to get over things now, Kate. We’ve been together for 4 years; they can’t expect me not to bring you along. You’re my girlfriend, and I’m going to take you to meet my family.”

“I’m just pretty sure they asked for just you, darling. And I really don’t want this to end badly. What if they act rude?” Kate’s fingers twist and tangle around the heel she holds in her hand.

Blaire walks up, Kate hardly able to keep her eyes from how the dress she’s wearing hugs her perfectly with every step. Cupping Kate’s face with her hands, Blaire locks eyes. “Katelyn, you’re going with me and that’s that. And if they’re rude, we’ll leave and I’ll take you out to a nice restaurant all by ourselves, okay?” Planting a kiss on her lips, Blaire walks back to the bed. “Now go finish getting ready.”

Kate smiles to herself, biting her bottom lip and turning to go to the living room. It had only been a couple of weeks since the call from the producers of Wicked, and Blaire seemed to feel much better. It had only taken a couple days and another call about Blaire mentoring the other girl, and she was back to smiling and being the happy girl she usually was. Kate just worried that this happiness would be ruined after this dinner with her parents, the parents that contacted her out of nowhere for dinner.

Blaire’s parents have never really warmed up to the idea of their only daughter being a lesbian. They had always expected her to grow up and marry one of Mr. Anderson’s colleagues’ sons and marry into money and a good name. They obviously always had high expectations for her from the start. And she let them all down when she came out gay and told them that she wanted to work in music, nothing along the track that they had planned out for her. She was left to pay for school on her own, to pay for her apartment on her own too unless she found a roommate; the only support coming from her older brother, Cooper, who really had no objection to his little sister being gay. They especially weren’t happy when they found out about Kate, knowing that no matter what they said, their daughter was on the fast track to nowhere and they couldn’t help her.

It bothered Blaire, but she never let it show. She never wanted to make Kate feel bad so they hardly ever talked about them or mentioned them. The only family Kate had met had been Cooper, who had stayed at their apartment for a week when he came to visit.

“Ready?” Blaire asks as she walks into the room, fixing the silver bracelet on her wrist.

Kate looks up from the couch and smiles. “Yeah.” She stands up and smooths her hand over her sides to fix her dress.

Blaire’s eyes watch the path of her hands, her pink tongue peeking out to wet her lips.  “You look so great,” she murmurs, pressing forward and resting hands on her slender hips. “You know this dress drives me crazy.”

A shy smile pulls at Kate’s lips, her cheeks burning pink. “It’s not too much right?” The dress is blue and contrasts beautifully against her pale skin. The neckline scoops down just so, not showing off too much but just enough for Blaire who can never take her eyes off of her while wearing it.

“No, no, you’re beautiful,” Blaire promises, kissing a gentle peck against Kate’s pink lips. “Everyone is going to be jealous of me.”

“ _You_? Have you seen yourself? That stupid black dress of yours. I think every guy and girl around us will be watching.” Kate’s smile is held back, but just on the line of seductive.

“We need to stop before we don’t show up. My parents will know exactly what happened. Come on.” Blaire reluctantly pulls away and smacks Kate’s ass playfully, causing her to jump and look slightly scandalized.

“You’re ridiculous, Anderson.”

*

“Is that them?” Kate asks quietly as they walk into the restaurant, people elegantly dressed milling about them. She’s zeroed in on a couple already seated, an older man in a nicely pressed dinner suit and a woman with dark brown hair streaked with gray, dressed in a nice cream pantsuit. They lean towards each other, whispering and glancing around, perfectly in place with everyone else.

Blaire stiffens her shoulders as she lays eyes on them, her spine straightening under Kate’s hand. She nods, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, it’s them.”

Kate looks over, face creased with worry at Blaire’s reaction. “Are you sure you want to do this? We can go home now, you can call them later and tell them you caught something.”

“No, no. I can’t run from this, they’re my parents, Kate. I can’t stand them up.” Blaire looks desperate and determined, though her eyes hold the slightest bit of fear for a moment before being closed off.

“If you’re sure,” Kate says, eyeing Blaire closely once more.

“I’m sure. Let’s go, we can’t keep them waiting too long.”  With a deep breath, Blaire grips Kate’s hand tightly in hers and leads her to the table. The couple doesn’t look up as they approach, and Blaire has to jostle them out of their conversation with a polite clearing of her throat. “Mother? Father?”

Kate doesn’t even flinch at the formalness that Blaire uses with them, having heard so many stories from her childhood. The couple looks up finally, and she feels her chest constrict as their eyes automatically land on her. She can see where Blaire gets her hazel, a mix of her father’s dull brown and her mother’s striking green. She pulls Blaire’s hand against her side, suddenly self-conscious as she watches Mrs. Anderson’s eyes slide down her body then back up with a disapproving look that is quickly wiped away. “Blaire, it’s nice to see you.” Her voice is cold and biting, nothing like the warm, inviting tone of Blaire’s.

“Um, yeah. Nice to see you guys, too,” Blaire mutters, trying to bite back the steel that Kate could hear so clearly. “This is Kate Hummel, my girlfriend.”

Kate caught the same flinch pass between the elder Andersons, and she stands a bit straighter knowing that this was not at all going to go like Blaire wanted. “How nice.” The disapproving look was back in Mrs. Anderson’s eyes as her gaze flicks back to Kate.

“It’s really nice to finally meet you,” Kate says enthusiastically, smiling and holding out her free hand.

Mr. Anderson clears his throat and throws a look at her outstretched hand. “Yes.” When no one makes a move to shake her hand, Kate quickly drops it, her cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “I thought we had asked to talk to only you,” Mr. Anderson directs to Blaire, her lips tight, and his voice hard.

Blaire squeezes Kate’s hand, looking for courage while trying to send some towards her girlfriend. “Yes, I know. But Kate is my girlfriend and she deserves to be here just as much as mom does. She’s your wife is she not? Kate is basically my wife, so she can be here if she wants. And I asked her to be here with me. I thought it was time for you guys to officially meet.”

Kate was struck at Blaire’s side, head turned to stare at Blaire in surprise. She has never heard Blaire ever mention to her as being her wife. They had never talked about it except wishful fantasies of future weddings, and that small statement sent a pleasant warmth rushing beneath her skin.

Though it obviously didn’t have the same effect on her parents if the pinched looks said anything about it.

“Fine,” Mrs. Anderson butt in quickly before her husband could continue to fight back. “Let’s get seated and get this over with.”

Blaire pulls out the chair across from her father for Kate to sit in before taking her own seat. Kate smiles politely at them, trying her best to keep looking presentable and not disgrace Blaire. She began to worry about her dress, if it was too show off-y for such a dinner. Maybe they thought she was some slut, or something equally degrading to Blaire’s character. Blaire seemed to be keeping a good head though, even as she sat stiff in her chair.

Kate knew that she threw up those cold walls behind her eyes to get through this dinner. And she knew that when they left Blaire would act like everything had gone fine and her parents had loved Kate.

Once they were all settled and silent, a waitress came over to ask for drinks, all of them ordering some sort of alcohol. Kate, Blaire and Mrs. Anderson settle for wine, while Mr. Anderson asks for some sort of complicated mixture. When the drinks were given to them and food ordered, they all settle back into an uncomfortable silence.

Kate’s hand stays in her lap, her eyes tracing the contours of her wine glass, watching the perspiration sink down over the stem. “So. Kate…is it?”

Kate looks up with surprise at Mrs. Anderson’s voice. “Uh, yes?”

“What do you do? Where do you work?” Her perfectly manicured fingers curl around her wine glass, the red of her nails standing out against the dark purple of the wine.

“I…Um. I work in fashion. Well, sort of. I have a degree in fashion, not really a job yet. Though, I sometimes help at the schools when they need demonstrations or help with play costumes.” Kate gives a strained smile when she finishes, swallowing down words that work their way up when she sees Mrs. Anderson give her another look.

“Oh. Living in New York, I expected you to have a good job. Living here isn’t very cheap.”

“Mother,” Blaire hisses, glaring straight at the older women. Kate begins to wonder how these two people made someone as beautiful as Blaire. She can see where the looks came from of course—the dark curls obviously from her mother, though they were quickly thinning and graying. The full lips from her father, though his were usually pressed into a disapproving line. The olive skin comes from her mother too, also the curves that Blaire constantly complained about, both of them looking so alike but so drastically different on the inside.

“Blaire, I’m just wondering. Apartments around here are very expensive now a’ days and I don’t want my daughter to be wasting her life trying to pay for an apartment and groceries with a…significant other who doesn’t help.” Mr. Anderson nods along with his wife, eyes on Kate who holds back her hurt expression.

“We fair perfectly fine, mother. Kate tries to help when she can, it’s not like she sits at home and doesn’t try. She tries very hard. We both know that it’s not easy living here, but we’re doing well. My job at the music store doesn’t pay well either but we’re still living in a good apartment and having money for groceries. We don’t need you to tell us how we’re living when you don’t even live in the city.” Blaire closes her mouth, her teeth clacking together audibly. Kate’s hand snakes under the table to rest on her thigh, giving a gentle squeeze to calm her down.

Her mother looks like she had just been yelled at, though Blaire had never once raised her voice. “You don’t speak to your mother like that.”

Blaire opens her mouth, but quickly presses her lips together before anything could come out. “Kathleen, hush,” Mr. Anderson finally says, sipping from the sickening liquid in his glass and folding his hands on the table. “We’re here for a specific reason and I think it’s time that we get to that.”

“I think so too.” Blaire’s voice comes out sharply and Mrs. Anderson shoots her a glare.

Mr. Anderson clears his throat. “There’s been an opening at my company, they’re looking for a secretary for one of the co-owners of the entire building. They’re looking for someone they can trust and someone who can get the work done. I volunteered you, since you’re my daughter, of course. It’s a good job with good pay, far better pay than whatever job you have now.”

Blaire’s jaw goes rigid as Kate looks over with her breath hitching. Tilting her head up, Blaire does nothing but stare at her father.

Mrs. Anderson quickly interjects,” Of course; you’d have to move back to Ohio. But if you took the job, your father and I would pay for your house in Columbus and whatever you needed to get settled. This man is very nice, and I think you would like him a lot.”

Blaire’s hand shakes over Kate’s and she quickly pulls it into her own lap, Kate cupping it with both her hands.  “It’s a very good opportunity, Blaire.”

Blaire was quiet, deathly quiet. Kate caught the wobble in her chin, the stuttering breath in the rise of her chest. “Darling…?”

“You both. Are sick,” was all that she was able to get out.

“Excuse me?” Mrs. Anderson was taken back, her eyes wide, the creases around them disappearing for a moment.

“I know exactly why you’re doing this,” Blaire whispers, her voice heavy with tears. She tore her hand from Kate’s grip, “and I hate you both because of it.”

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson act as if their daughter had struck them both.

“Why are you speaking to us like this?” Mr. Anderson asks, his voice growing louder.

“Because you both are sick people. Why can’t you just be happy for me?” Blaire keeps her voice steady. “Why can’t you just accept that this is who I am? That I love Kate, a woman, and that I’m happy with the shitty job I have right now. Because I’m happy, I am. I’m happy with Kate’s job, I’m happy with the money we have, and I’m happy with our tiny apartment. One day we’ll get there, but for right now I am the happiest person alive. And there is no way you can take that from me. I’m not moving back to Ohio, I’m not going to take that job. I’m not going to be that man’s secretary and have you try to get us to hook up.” Blaire’s chin wobbles even more, and she begins to push away from the table, slapping her unused napkin on the top.

Kate quickly follows behind, letting out a high gasp as Blaire pulls her to her side. “Instead, I’m going to go home and make love to my girlfriend and be happy with the life I have now without you in it.” Kate’s eyes are wide as Blaire leans up and seals her mouth on hers, kissing her dirty and hard. When Blaire pulls away, she doesn’t even hesitate to turn away and pull Kate after her. “Enjoy your food, and I hope you choke on it.”

They leave the restaurant and are hit with the cool wind of the upcoming fall as their heels clack against the sidewalk. Blaire is on a mission, storming down the cement, dragging Kate stumbling behind her. “Blaire, Blaire, please stop,” Kate begs.

Blaire just continues on, her curls falling from the tight bun on her head. She ignores Kate as she continues the trudge home.

“Blaire Anderson, stop!” Kate’s voice shoots up, high and piercing as she stops walking, tugging Blaire back.

Blaire turns around, a look in her eyes that Kate can’t quite place, “What?” she snaps.

“Do not snap at me,” Kate scolds right away, ignoring the looks of passersby. “Are you okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine, I just want to go home.” Blaire swings herself into Kate’s arms and kisses her hard again. “I want to go home and do exactly as I said in the restaurant.”

“I don’t want to go home and have revenge sex against your parents,” Kate whispers against Blaire’s damp lips.

Darkness passes over Blaire’s face before she shakes her head. “It’s not revenge sex, it’s you-look-damn-good-in-that-dress sex. Please, don’t make me wait.” Her voice tampers off into a whine as she begins to tug Kate once more back to the apartment.

Kate doesn’t believe her, but follows after her anyway, knowing that it was either go with the flow, or sleep alone.


	3. Part 3

_Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl. I wanna see inside. Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?_

* * *

 

The apartment door slams, startling Kate out of the stupor she was in at the table. She looks up from the sketches she was working on to see Blaire with a determined look on her face moving quickly towards her.

“We’re going out tonight with friends,” she says, leaning in to kiss Kate before continuing towards the bedroom.

“Wait, what?” Kate gets out as Blaire hurries through the bedroom door, leaving it open for Kate to follow through. Which she does, as she gets up from the chair and follows after her girlfriend. “Blaire? Excuse me?”

Blaire is already rifling through the closet, the sneakers she had worn to work toed off and lying haphazardly in the middle of the room. She stops and finally gives Kate her full attention. “What?”

“What’s going on?”

“I made plans with a couple of friends to go out tonight. I really need a drink,” she says, practically moaning out the last sentence. “And you’re coming along.”

Kate sighs as Blaire goes right back to the closet. “Blaire, honey, I don’t think I can go with you.” Her hair was a mess; the brown hair plopped on top of her head in an extremely messy bun. She hadn’t taken the time to put on make-up or even put in contacts, the glasses she rarely uses on for once. “I’m really not ready to go out, and I also have work to finish up before Monday.”

“Kate, come on,” Blaire automatically groans, looking over her shoulder. “Just get ready, we have time. And you still have a couple days before Monday to finish it.”

“No, really, Blaire. I have to finish this stuff and I’ve been working on it all day. I really don’t want to mess this up. Not to mention that I’m not really in the mood for constricting clothes today, I haven’t been feeling well.” Which wasn’t a lie. Her stomach had been bothering her and just the thought of putting on a pair of tight jeans or a tight dress makes her uncomfortable, so she settled for a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants. Sweatpants that she was pretty sure were dirty…

Blaire hardly listens as she strips from her work clothes, pulling out a dark green strapless dress, a dress that Kate would never let Blaire wear without her being there. “Babe, come on. Come with me.  I don’t want to go alone, and I really have to let go for a night.”

“No, I’m sticking with what I said. This work is really important to me.” Kate almost turns back on what she said as she watches Blaire shimmy into her dress.

Rolling her eyes, Blaire gives Kate an angry look. “Are you kidding me? We haven’t been out together in a long time and now that I actually want to go out, you turn me down? Whatever. Stay home alone.”

Kate tips her head back, knowing that Blaire’s irritation was just from stress from everything that’s been going on with her parents and at work and the stupid show with the stupid diva actress who treats Blaire like crap; but that still didn’t stop Kate from feeling slightly irritated herself. She wasn’t going to put up with her stupid and childish antics right now. “Just, change your dress.”

Blaire fixes her with a glare. “No. I want to have fun and you don’t want to, so you don’t have a say in anything. I’m a big girl, I can decide things for myself.”

“Blaire, please. That dress is really revealing and I just—“

“Do you not trust me?”

Kate stops, gives Blaire a wide-eyed look. “What?”

“Do you not trust me? To not cheat on you? Is that why you don’t want me to wear this? Because I know that people look when I wear this and I’m sure that’s exactly why you don’t want me to wear this. So you don’t trust me not to cheat on you.” Blaire’s face contorts into a look of hurt. “Wow.”

“Blaire, that isn’t what I said. Don’t say that. Of course, I trust you. Just…sometimes…when you’re drunk—“ Kate knows she said the wrong thing as Blaire’s face falls.

“Wow.” That’s all she can get out as she stares at Kate, her cheeks flushing a deep red. “Just, wow.” Then she’s grabbing for a pair of heels, storming past Kate.

“Blaire—no, please, stop—“ Kate tries, following after her, her voice overflowing with desperation.

“No, go back to your work. I can take care of myself, I’m an adult,” she snaps back. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Honey…please…I didn’t mean it that way,” Kate begs, grabbing Blaire’s wrist and tugging on it gently, trying to pull her into a hug.

“Oh, yeah, sure sounded like you didn’t mean to tell me that you don’t trust me. Four years, and I’m just finding this out?” Blaire’s shaking, Kate can feel it with her hand still grasping tight to her wrist. “Let me go. I’ll be back later. Maybe.” Blaire tugs away her wrist and leaves the apartment just as quick as she came in, leaving Kate standing alone.

The last word Blaire snapped twists in her brain, making her begin to worry.

_Maybe._

*

It had started raining over an hour ago, the wind blowing and slamming raindrops against the small windows of their apartment. The sun had disappeared from the horizon, darkness having settled down, adding a creepy effect to the howling of the wind and the sound of rain against surfaces.

Kate had spent the last few hours trying to calm herself down. Right after Blaire walked out of the door, she had sent messages to the few friends she knew would take Blaire out partying, just to make sure she’d be okay. Then she tried to settle down to draw and finish the sketches she had started earlier, which by the time she set down her pencil just turned into sketches of Blaire.

Her brain wouldn’t stop the thoughts from constantly crossing her mind, the thoughts that Blaire had run into the wrong group of guys, or had got lost in some shady part of the city. Anything that could make a person worry was rushing through Kate’s head. It was around the time that the rain had started to fall that she puy down her pencil and gave up on her work.

She knew she had said the wrong things, should have tried harder to keep her home or just went out with her. Kate knew that she messed up, and right at this moment there wasn’t really anything she could do. She almost gave in and got dressed to go out too, but stopped knowing that Blaire probably wouldn’t want to see her at this very moment; if she was lucky enough to have Blaire want to see her at all this night. So instead, she sat on the couch and turned on reruns of _Say Yes to the Dress_ and hunkered down under a blanket.

Kate was just dozing off over the arm of the couch when the sound of the door opening rouses her. She blinks her eyes blearily for a moment, pulling the blanket closer against the cold as she sits up and looks towards the person standing in the doorway.

“O-Oh my god, Blaire.” She was up in seconds, the blanket falling forgotten on the floor.

Blaire stands just inside the door, her hair plastered to her head, her entire body shivering and dripping with rain. Her heels were off and held in one hand, one of the shoes missing the heel. Blaire’s face is blank, looking right at Kate. “I was just going to stay at a friend’s. But…but they left me.” She swallows. The corners of her mouth dip down quickly.

“Wait? They left you? Come in, get a blanket.” Kate hurries forward before being stopped by Blaire ducking her head and shaking it.

“No. Please, don’t touch me.” Blaire’s voice breaks as she says it, her fingers twitching around the shoes before letting them fall against the fake wood floor beneath her feet. “Th-they left me. My friends. They just…found people to go home with and left me at the club. And I—I was okay. But then, I realized that maybe I was wrong. Because no one was paying any attention to me and I actually…Kate, I wanted the attention.” Blaire closes her eyes before blinking them open to meet Kate’s worried ones.

“I wanted the attention,” she repeats, her eyes full of sadness. “I wanted someone to walk by and hit on me and make me feel like if you left me, then I’d still have a chance. I wanted someone to walk by and wolf whistle and remind me why I was there alone, that I hadn’t snapped for no reason. But no one did, they all ignored me.”

“Honey…” Kate whispers, hurt twisting tight in her gut. The hurt didn’t matter though, because Blaire looked two seconds from collapsing on the floor. “Just…come in. Let me help you into bed, you have to be really cold.”

“That’s why the producers didn’t like me, isn’t it?” Blaire questions quietly instead of listening to Kate. “I’m not good enough. I mean, that’s what Darla tells me. That they picked her because they wanted a skinny, beautiful Elphaba that people would look at and be happy with. Which isn’t what that part is about,” she spits angrily.

“Blaire…Baby, please.” Kate takes a hesitant step forward.

It’s almost like Kate can see everything inside of Blaire, everything that is holding her up, suddenly crack and break loose.

“I’m not good enough for anyone, right?” Blaire suddenly says, her eyes suddenly ghosting over with tears. Her voice is broken and hurt as she looks up at the ceiling. “I’m not good enough for my parents because I’m in love with you and I won’t go to Ohio and screw some rich guy to have his kids and carry on a good name. I’m not good enough for the producers because I’m not skinny enough and because this girl seems to have so much more talent than the girl from Ohio. And I’m not good enough for you because I can’t give you everything you want, like a good house or a girlfriend who gets the good parts in Broadway shows or has parents that will love you just as much as they love her.” She clenches her jaw, continues to try and hold back the tears.

Kate stays silent, but walks up to Blaire. “Please, don’t say that stuff. Just…please.”

“It’s all true,” Blaire whimpers, looking away from their cracked ceiling to the blue eyes that hold nothing but love, love for her, love for what they have together.

“Just—no. Stop talking, I’m begging you,” Kate whispers, reaching out her hands to grab her shoulders. Then Kate is tightening her grip on her shoulders, pulling her in till their lips are crashing together. Blaire’s breath hitches, sounding watery as she kisses back desperately, her hands fisting in the back of Kate’s t-shirt.

Kate parts their lips, opening her eyes to catch Blaire’s closed tightly. “Everything you said, everything is wrong. Every little thing you said,” she murmurs, gently nudging their noses as their lips brush and catch.

Blaire’s breath hitches again, and Kate quickly presses another long kiss to her lips. “You’re too good for me, Kate, you are. I don’t deserve you, or anything. I’m just a w-weak, pathetic girl who lets everyone down.”

“You have never once let me down. You’re perfect, Blaire, and I really wish I could convey to you how much I actually love you and want you to be happy.”

“I just…I’m not, Kate, I’m not,” Blaire hiccups, before finally just slipping and breaking down. A sob breaks from her lips, the tears flooding down her cheeks as she begins to cry. Kate doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arm around her shoulder to pull her against her body.

“Darling, don’t cry, no,” Kate chokes out, her eyes stinging with warm tears as she kisses her lips and cheek and forehead and wherever her lips can reach. Blaire just lets out a broken sob, clutching Kate tighter. Her body shakes in Kate’s arms, and Kate almost starts crying with her. But at this moment, it’s Kate’s turn to be strong and hold in the feelings that start to brim her eyes.

She had been waiting for this moment, waiting for the dam to break and let everything rush through, and she was just glad that it had happened right here, right now, instead of some strange place.

Without a word, Kate closes her eyes for a moment then begins to walk Blaire to the bedroom. Getting through the door, she quietly closes it and leaves Blaire standing in the middle of the room for a moment. She looks pitiful, her eyes and nose red and puffy, her hair drying and frizzing. Her dress was still tight against her, though it was slipping off of places, leaving her looking like a mess with makeup smears across her face. Blaire snivels and wipes at her face as best as she can.

Kate walks up to her and catches her wrists gently, watching as her large eyes blink open, wet and wondering. Her bottom lip quivers but Kate stays silent as she turns Blaire’s wrist and places her lips against the inside. A soft breath escapes Blaire’s lips, eyelids fluttering. “Blaire Anderson…You’re my everything. You’re beautiful…,” Kate places a kiss higher up on her wrist, “You’re wonderful…,” another kiss, “You’re literally perfect in every way and who ever makes you feel any less deserves to die in a big fiery pit.”

Blaire chokes out a laugh.

“Okay, maybe not that violent, but baby,” Kate lets go of her wrists and runs her hands up her arms. “What everyone else thinks doesn’t matter. I love you and I think that’s all that matters.”

Blaire is still sniffling, so Kate leans in and kisses her soft and slow, dragging their lips together perfectly. “Please,” Blaire whispers, her eyes closed even as Kate pulls away.

“Please what?” Kate questions her quietly.

“Make me feel better,” Blaire answers softly.

Then Kate leans down to capture her lips again.


End file.
